Zukurin

Here some of the songs with misheard lyrics hahaha..

 

Like a virgin by Madonna

Misheard:                Like a virgin touched for the thirty first time

Real:                       Like a virgin touched for the very first time

 

Addicted to love by Robert Palmer

Misheard:               Might as well face it, you’re a dick with a glove

Real:                       Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love.

 

Losing my religion by REM

Misheard:               Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight.

Real:                      That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight.

 

Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana

Misheard:               Here we are now in containers

Real:                      Here we are now, entertain us

 

Centerfold by J. Geils Band

Misheard:               My anus is the center hole

Real:                       My angel is a centerfold

 

Getting Jiggy with it by Will Smith

Misheard:               Kick a chicken with it

Real:                      Gettin jiggy with it

 

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Misheard:               The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeeeeeeee….

Real:                       Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me…

 

Hollaback Girls by Gwen Stefani

Misheard:               I ain’t no Harlem black girl

Real:                      I ain’t no holla back girl.

 

We built this city by Starship

Misheard:               We built this city on the wrong damn road.

Real:                       We built this city on rock and roll.

 

Wanna Be by Spice Girls

Misheard:              If you wanna do my mother,
                             You gotta get her a Benz

Real:                     If you wannabe my lover
                             You gotta get with my friends

 

Smooth by Santana

Misheard:               Man, it’s a hot one
                              Like seven midgets in the midday sun.

Real:                      Man, it’s a hot one
                               Like seven inches from the midday sun.

 

Barbie Girl by Aqua

Misheard:               Come on body lets go potty

Real:                       Come on Barbie lets go party

 

Africa by Toto

Misheard:                I left my brains down in Africa

Real:                       I bless the rains down in Africa

 

You oughta know by Alanis Morissette

Misheard:               It’s not fair to deny me of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me…

Real:                       It’s not fair to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me…

 

Underneath your clothes by Shakira

Misheard:               There’s the man I chose
                              There’s my Teletubbie

Real:                      There’s the man I chose
                              There’s my territory

 

Hotel California by Eagle

Misheard:               What a nice surprise
                              When your rabbit dies.

Real:                      What a nice surprise
                              Bring your alibis

 

Baby One More Time by Britney Spears

Misheard:               Hit it, baby, from behind.

Real:                      Hit me, baby, one more time.

 

Girls just wanna have fun by Cindy Lauper

Misheard:               O mamma dear, I’m not the virgin I was.

Real:                       Oh mother dear, we’re not the fortunate ones

 

Blue by Eiffel65

Misheard:               I’m blue and I believe I will die if I eat apple pie.

Real:                       I’m blue da ba dee da ba daa da ba dee da ba da

 

Stayin Alive by Beegees

Misheard:               Hell, you can tell right away I abuse my rock, I’m a woman, man, go climb the clock…”

Real:                       Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time for talk…”

 

Beat it by Michael Jackson

Misheard:               show them hot monkey

Real:                       show them how funky

 

Without you by Mariah Carey

Misheard:               I can’t forget the semen on your face as you were leaving.

Real:                       I can’t forget this evening or your face as you were leaving.

 

Rehab by Amy Winehouse

Misheard:               I ain’t got the time but my daddy thinks I’m blond
                              He’s trying to make me go to rehab but I go ‘no no no’
                              The man said ‘why you think you hit’
                              I said ‘I gotta know my dear
                              I’m gonna, I’m gonna poop my baby
                              so I always keep a b

Real:                      I ain’t got the time and if my daddy thinks I’m fine
                              He’s tried to make me go to rehab but I won’t go go go
                              The man said ‘why do you think you here’
                              I said ‘I got no idea
                              I’m gonna, I’m gonna lose my baby
                              so I always keep a bottle near’
                              He said ‘I just think your depressed,
                              this me, yeah baby, and the rest’

 

I’ll be by Edwin Mc Cain

Misheard:               I’ll be your crying soul digger,
                              And I’ll be love’s CSI,
                              I’ll be better than an old digger,
                              And I’ll be the greatest fan of your wife.

Real:                      I’ll be your crying shoulder,
                              And I’ll be love’s suicide,
                              I’ll be better when I’m older,
                              And I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.

 

Creep by Radiohead

Misheard:               I’m a creep, I’m a weiner

Real:                      I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo

 

London Bridge by Fergie

Misheard:               London London B*tch

Real:                      London London bridge

 

I kissed the girl by Katy Perry

Misheard:               I kissed a girl and I liked it
                              The taste of her cherry chopstick

Real:                      I kissed a girl and I liked it
                              The taste of her cherry chap stick

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

Can a stupid person be a smart-alec?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do pilots take crash-courses?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How can there be self-help “groups”?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?

If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

 

Hmmmmmm… esep esep esep esep…

 

• Will you hold my purse?
• Can’t we just be friends?
• I’m pregnant.. just kidding!
• My last boyfriend was a little bigger
• I betcha I can fart louder than you can!
• You’ll meet my dad.. as soon as he’s paroled.
• Do you think these cold sores could be something serious?
• I’ve been thinking a lot about entering the convent.
• I tell my mom EVERYTHING!
• Why can’t you be more sensitive?
• I betcha I’ve been with more guys than you have with girls!
• Stop hangin out with your friends and spend MORE time with me!
• My ex-boyfriend is serving time for armed robbery.
• What’s more important to you? Me.. or basketball?!?
• It’s not stalking if you really, really, really love someone.
• Would you mind if I saw other people?
• “Easy” is just a nickname I picked up in school.
• You need to get a cellphone  so I can call you ALL the time!
• I’ve already picked up names for our children.
• Could you just run into the store and grab me a box of pads?

Haaayy!!! Sensya na wala lang magawa sa boring kong araw..